Brooke here:
It struck me this morning that I had yet to mention the Labyrinth (well, as it’s more of a tunnel than a maze, it’s more of a La than a Labyrinth, but Labyrinth sounds cooler and has 80% more David Bowie). The house has this amazing wide, covered front porch, complete with swing.

Under the porch is the Labyrinth. Brown figured out the tunnel follows the path of the porch; the architect designed the porch to be hollow and the cavity is extra storage space.

Then you turn the corner and… pow. More storage.

The Labyrinth needs a lot of scrubbing, some waterblock paint, and some new shelves. We’re also going to have a contractor come down and take a look at what’s holding up the porch.; we’re hoping it’s rebar, otherwise the enormous concrete slabs of the porch floor are balanced on several elderly and poorly-placed 2x4s. Eventually most of the Labyrinth will be storage, except for a tiny five-foot offshoot to one side which will become the wine cellar. It feels rather ridiculous to write wine cellar – Brown and I don’t drink all that much and we don’t particularly like wine, but it’s cool in the basement and there’s already plenty of storage so we might as well do something interesting with that space.

Pff! Wine cellar, my ass! We all know you’ll keep your enemies in it.
I have no enemies! I just have a stack of very silent, very smelly friends who used to hate me.