While I was standing in the bird decoy store waiting for the SWAT team to leave —
(Which is a rather ridiculous story about a dude who made a very poor judgement call by placing a geocache under the floor of an ice cream shop… while wearing camouflage… and failing to label the cache as such… even though it was hidden in a pipe… yes, a pipe, but when you get the opportunity to start a post with “standing in the bird decoy store waiting for the SWAT team to leave,” you use it.)
— Brown was ripping the bathroom sink off of the wall with his bare hands.
The master bath is tiny. Tiny. It’s about 3’x5′, and that includes a sink, a shower, and a toilet. Brown has problems just turning around. And it’s about as nasty as you can possibly imagine: the tile is original to 1958, and I am beyond-a-doubt certain there’s a layer of that infamous black mold underneath it.
There will have to be a thorough gutting of this bathroom at some point, but, you know, budget, and mold removal is expensive. So I just keep everything as clean as possible and bleach the crap out of the place on a regular basis. We’ve been planning to replace the large sink with a smaller model, though, to trick ourselves into thinking the room is larger than it actually is. We’ve had the replacement sink in the basement since we’ve moved in, but there have been so many other projects that this room has been on a burner so far back that the curtains are starting to smoulder.
While I was at the beach, the room seems to have called Brown names or something, as he grabbed the sink and hurled it out the front door.
He also found the instruction manual for how to install the previous sink, plus a very well-concealed home pregnancy kit tucked under the sink’s baseboard. It took him the rest of the day to steam off the wallpaper and the grime on the tiles.
So this week is remodeling a tiny bathroom. We already have the sink, faucet, light, and mirror. Brown will install those after I repair the tile and throw down a tile sealant to keep the water out and the mold at bay, then repaint the room. Pictures to follow.
5 thoughts on “I was gone for three days!”
Any teen daughters in that house previously? Also, ew, digusting.
We found black mold when remodeling our bathroom. Had to take all of the wallboard out and bleach the studs…But it looked lovely when we finished!
Okay that’s hilarious. I found your webcomic via an ad somewhere and on a whim went to read it. I found it hilarious and awesome and when I got to the end last night found your post about the duck decoy store and the bomb squad and thought, “waaaait a minute. What are the odds of this happening to — this must be ursula’s friend Otter!” hah. Small Internet eh? Anyway, I’ll continue reading for the awesomeness but I wanted to tell you I recognized you from your Internet fame. Highfive!
So he… meant to tear it off the wall? Yes?