As I write this, I am waiting on some fellow who responded to a Craigslist auction to come and pick up Zu’s puppy pen. Zu has outgrown it and it is no longer useful (although technically it wasn’t useful by the second day when Zu realized he could scale the sides like a mountaineer, but we lashed round 4″ PVC pipes to the top and the sides and he couldn’t get any traction on those for another month).
About twice a year my OCD flares up and I go on a purging spree where every item I can’t stand to keep in the house is sold off to the highest bidder.* I’m deep in one of those purges now, which forces me to spend far too much time and energy negotiating with strangers on Craigslist. I’d rather not pull the world-weary By this point, I’ve seen it all! but by crikey, by this point, I’ve seen it all. A lady, hands trembling ever so slightly, who made the trade for a pair of my old Oakleys in what could only be the throes of shoe addiction. A woman and her daughter — in business suits and fur — who drove up in their new Mercedes, pulled out a thick wad of cash, and then tried to negotiate.
Tonight, though, might beat all. I’m waiting on the people who didn’t know about Google Maps. Or Mapquest. Or, apparently, any form of GPS.
I got an email reply to the ad and called the sender back, then held the phone away from my head and cleared my ears a few times when I literally could not understand what the woman was saying. Didn’t help… she had the thickest Southern accent I’d ever heard in my life. We ran over the same information a few times… yes, the item is still available… yes, cash only… yes, Greensboro… you don’t know where Greensboro is? It’s one of the largest cities in the state and … okay, try Google … okay, do you have a computer … okay, you were checking Craiglist so if you don’t have a computer does your smartphone have … it’s a phone that can get online…
Without warning, I’m speaking with a younger person, a man this time but with the same thick accent and I’m going over the exact same information again, except this guy has access to a computer and had heard of Google. He apparently also had Internet access because I gave him a brief guided tutorial of Google maps (he was impressed by the technology but I cut it short before we got into Google Earth because there is not enough time in my day as it is).
And then he said “Cash?” And I said “Yes.” And then he hung up on me.
So I have no idea whether this guy is coming to town, or when, or if he is on his way now. I’d be a little sketched out about time-traveling Southerners from the early 1990s showing up at a nearby parking lot and somehow finding our house, but it’s D&D night and the place is crawling with Brown’s buddies. Some of whom are cops.
It’s a weird night, folks.
*Anybody want the Ranma 1/2 graphic novels, Nos. 1 – 22, inclusive? Cheap! Let me know.