Brooke here. Let’s talk about the time I made a stupid joke on Twitter and then made another house project out of it.

Which seemed a throwaway joke at the time. My birthday rolled past, then Christmas, and then I got a donation from a reader and her family that made me want to do something a little special. Think think think…OH!

I dug around, found a custom metalworker on etsy, and worked out the details. I sent him the high-res files, and a month later, we received this in the mail:

I love it. Love it. It’s a heavy gauge stainless steel with black powder coating. This thing isn’t rusting until Doomsday. (I also got a matching sign for the mailbox, but that’s not up yet.) Making a display mount for it promptly went on the Neverending List of Things to Do.

Last month, we finally got around to making that mount. I dug out a piece of scrap lumber and painted it with multiple coats of Sherwin Williams Enamel Oil Base. I use this color (“Stolen Kiss,” and insert your own eyerolls here) sparingly on all of our exterior lumber projects as an accent. The oil enamel is nigh invulnerable–I’ve used it on gardening projects and untreated wood has lasted for years without cracking. One day –ONE FINE DAY!– I shall refinish the front door in this enamel and then we shall see if the dogs can damage it *sinister laugh* yeah they totally will shred it like paper okay moving on…

To get the raised effect, I used some threaded washers which raised the sign from the board by 1/4 inch. The screws are brass and will weather to greens and golds over time.

We didn’t hang it by the front door. We hung it by the garden gate instead. Nice, yes?

If you’d like a BEWARE OF EVERYTHING sign of your own, I’ve attached the high-res file here. You have my permission to do use this on any project you want, especially if you’re frustrated and ready to set fire to everything you own. Just send me a photo of how you’ve used it!

BEWAREvector