Dear Mister Peeper-Potts:
We have received numerous complaints from community members regarding the current state of your nest. As you are aware, we have strict standards for the materials and the methods that can be used in nest construction. If you require additional information on approved standards, refer to pages 1-437, inclusive, in your Meep-Mirp Home Owners’ Association Handbook. Failure to comply with HOA standards may result in fines or other methods of punishment.
Sincerely, Miss Finchy-McChirpers.
Oh man, we had birds building something like that directly on top of the motion detector for the back yard security light. The hanging bits made the light go on all night long. The very powerful light made the straw seriously think about catching fire directly below our eaves.
I really felt bad about tearing it down every day. They put so much work into building it back so many times.
Dear Miss Finchy-McChirpers,
Or should I say “Miss Filthy-McSplinters”!
A lifetime of fancy fence fixture frolicking, kitchen cabinet canoodling and french (FRENCH I say) drain digging debauchery is no substitute for a little common courtesy and hospitality to the weary traveler.
Q: Any room in the Inn we ask.
A: No.
Q: The barn, perhaps a stable?
A: Oh, you have none.
Well then, we’ll just make do here on the porch.
Yes, here on the chilly drafty porch.
Ouch! Splinters on top of the beam.
Yuck! So much filth, do the owners never clean?
Well, it will certainly take a plethora of padding and vast volume of vegetation to overcome the short comings of the accommodations. But we will persevere.
I think it is a shame that any goodness, kindness, caring or housekeeping values your parents tried to instill in you have obviously been lost in the intervening Springs since you were hatched.
Sincerely, Mister Peeper-Potts
P.S. And I’ll poop on your dog’s head again too!
Go home bird, you’re drunk! Oh wait… Um… Actually… Nope. Got nothin’.
Note: Yelling Bird (http://questionablecontent.wikia.com/wiki/Yelling_Bird) is my HomeBoy. Don’t mess with the OAB (Original Angry Birds!)