Brooke here. Three things:
First, we have discovered that when the previous owners said they had installed “French drains,” they did not actually mean “French drains.” They meant “plastic pipes covered in rocks ‘n crap and dumped on top of the ground.” We could not for the life of us understand why we still had drainage issues when we had French drains! If they had said they had stuck some plastic tubes on the gutters and allowed them to become lost in the sea of ivy and generally wrecked by the elements, we wouldn’t have spent a year looking for two of every spider in the basement before the flood water crested the sump pump. The cause of the drainage problems has become much, much more clear.*
As for the second thing, Brown is currently under the sink in the hall bathroom, replacing the trap. He was told they did not make this particular type of trap anymore, and had to track it down in a couple of different stores. The leak is fixed; the need to gut the old iron plumbing, not so much.
As for Thing the Third: it’s that time of year again! Don’t forget to enter the DIY Ultimate Kitchen and Bath Giveaway contest every day until November 18th.**
* I thought the French drains were clogged, so I kept blasting water into what I thought was the access pipe to the drains and wondering why it smelled like sewage down there. Funny story: outlets for French drains and sewers can look identical.
** If you win, we can no longer be friends. So I hope you like your big Vulcan stove and jacuzzi tub, enemy-mine.